I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
