so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
