dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
