Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
