Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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