i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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