i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just google imaged poop.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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