It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
