So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
