Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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