i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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