OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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