some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
