I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
