During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
