She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
