absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
