my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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