Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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