So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Michael Bay diarrhea
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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