Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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