Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
