Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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