It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
