you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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