She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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