no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
