we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
