I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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