Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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