So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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