shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
