so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
