PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
