So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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