I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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