Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
