? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
