You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
