he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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