I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ladies don't puke and tell
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm always down for nudity.
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