I seem to have left my pride at pride
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
