Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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