I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
