That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
