Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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