READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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