Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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