you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night