I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
