Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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