i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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