no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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