dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
