Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need to sanitize my soul.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
