Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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