Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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