can u get pink eye on your cock?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
