guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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