Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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