If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
