Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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