Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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